My blog-o entries have been few and far between lately.  I could spin you some excuse about that I have been too busy writing for school, or for Ozymandian Theater to have time to blog...but it would be a bigger lie than the Easter Bunny.  I have been too distracted lately to form many complete thoughts.  So today I am going to be focused and provide you a blog entry that we can all be proud of.

I vow to blog without distraction.  I am going to remain in the present and not fret over my past regrets or my worries about the future.  I am going stay attentive to the right here and now...

I am not going to let my overwhelming fear of a giant ash cloud of doom that is currently infecting the atmosphere above me.  I will not let my blog become focused about this distraction...despite the fact that it has me and my heterosexual man-crush Anderson Cooper all in a tizzy. 


Hello new ice-age.  My name is John.  Don't do me like you did the Wolly Mammoth.  I don't want to be thawed out 3000 years from now by a highly evolved grasshoper society.  Bugs freak me out.  Especially highly evolved ones....

I am determined instead to write about something that is meaningful to me right now.  I am going to remain positive and not borrow anyone else's trouble.

There is no chance that I am going to be distracted by the gang of gossipy old ladies sitting next to me in the coffee shop who are conducting a very harsh book club meeting.  My blog entry is not going to be about how they debating kicking out one of their fellow elderly members out of their club.  I will not allow myself to become obsessed with eavesdropping into this meeting...even though the member in question is sitting there listening to the rest of the club debate her fate.  The whole conversation is a pulsating quasar of raw awkwardness and I cannot keep from listening in.  It turns out that the poor frail lady on trial is being thrown out because she has not attended enough book club meetings this year....because SHE HAD SKIN CANCER!!!!!  It seems that for this book club (which apparently is the toughest, meanest, and blue-ist haired club in the known universe) having cancer is not a good enough "excuse" to miss a couple meetings.  Holy Bat Phantom Crap.  I am certain there are KKK rallies that demonstrate more empathy than this gaggle of grouchy coupon clippers.  I love the greatest generation...I really do.....but sweet monkey spit sometimes they can be catty,  By the way I think having any kind of cancer is a good enough excuse to get out of anything...including paying taxes and having to tip your waiter.  If I had even the smallest speck of cancer on my eyelash I would demand that the world bow down before my melodramatic traveling circus.  I am glad I am not going to waste my time writing about this surreal book club that I am "tin-canning".  It would tap into some sort of anti octogenarian vibe that secretly lies in my heart.

                           
Golden Girls got it all wrong!!!  




Another thing I won't write about is how terrible I think the remake of "Clash of The Titans" was. 

It would be a waste of time to disclose how I believe that horrid film was one of the worst I have seen in quite some time.  Here is a quick note to the dozens of Hollywood Studio execs that read my blog.  If your movie looks like it was made by a fourth grader than maybe you should consider not releasing it.  If the story you are trying to tell the poor schleps who paid the  530.00 bucks to watch it in 3_D appears to have been written on an airplane napkin it is probably not a good film.   The special effects were on par with a couple Phil Collins music videos of the 1980s.   Release the Kraken??  More like release the drunk CGI artist.  Even Avatar had a sliver of a story....I would have been happy with even the plot from an episode from "Eight is Enough".  Sigh.


 This film makes me miss the claymation special effects of the orginal, which is something I can never forgive because I hate claymation the way my children hate watching me dance!

In my blog entry today I will not hyper-focus on one particular topic and beat it to death.  I also promise not to write anything that sounds even vaguely dirty.

By the way I am considering changing my wrestling name to the Icelandic Eruption.


Don't mistake the Icelandic Eruptions smile for weakness.  I bring pain the way lightning brings thunder.  Boom!

I am not going to write anything that makes it look like I am doing any shameless promotion.



On an unrelated note Ozymandian Theater has a new improv show coming next month.  Click here for show info and tickets:

Let's see....what should I write about then?

I can't think of anything. 

By the way the poor old lady suffering from skin cancer in the book club was put on "suspension".  Wow....good thing that is not going to be something I am not going to blog about. 


Well, I will talk to you later. 

- Johnny "The Icelandic Eruption" Roedel

Boom!