Another long gap in blogging.   I wonder if I am running out of meaningful things to say.  I think that argument could have been used a few years ago.  While my fingers still have the ability to hint and peck across the keyboard I will try and find something to say. 

So what do I have to say tonight?

I don't know.  I don't really have an agenda tonight.  I could write about the events that have been happening in my life lately.  I could inform you about how I am doing my best not to make the ghost of Shakespeare come visit me Beetlejuice style and rough me up. * I am helping out with "A Midsummer Nights Dream" here in Cheyenne and doing my best not to screw the whole thing up.  Roedel + Well Written Dialog + Nerves = Trouble in Tightsville.  I hope that someday when I meet William Shakespeare in the great beyond our encounter does not end up as awkward as I think it will**.  I imagine it like this:


Elvis:  Hey Roedel come here for a sec.  I want to introduce you to someone.  This is William Shakespeare.

Me:  Wow.  Mr. Shakespeare it is such a pleasure to meet you. 

Shakespeare:  Mmmm.  Likewise.

Elvis:  John was in one of your plays once!

Me:  Yeah, I actually had a part in "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Shakespeare:  Yes, I know.  I watched it from the observatory deck.

Me:  You saw it?? 

Shakespeare: Um...yes.

Me: About my performance...how do you think I -

Shakespeare:  Sucked.

Me: You didn't like the play?

Shakespeare:  Oh, I loved the play.  It was just......uh....you.

Me:  Right.  I was going for a Christopher Walken meets Harrison Ford kind of thing.

Shakespeare:  Huh.  I didn't get that.  I thought you were just going for idiot who can't pronounce the words right.

Me: You are kind of mean aren't you? 

Shakespeare:  Yeah kind of.  By the way you should lay off the Angel Food cake.  You are looking a little bloated.

Me:  Right. 



What else have I been up to?  Well a couple weeks ago me and a group of manly macho men braved the white water rapids and tested our courage against the jagged river rocks and swift current.  I was hoping for some sort of adrenaline induced spiritual awakening...it didn't come.  What I did realize is that wet suits and dudes like me are not a good match.  It took longer to get me out of the suit than it took the authorities to get Baby Jessica out of the well back in the 80's.  As I raged against the skin tight soggy leg warmers I put on a peep show that Mother Nature never wanted to see.  I believe I saw a Hawk slam it's body against the side of the mountain in order to escape me rolling around on the Earth trying to dislodge myself from the wet suit which had valiantly attempted to cling to my tender thighs. ***


Over my blogging vacay I spent some time with Kenny Chesney.  We are buds.  He likes what I bring to the table.  Well...actually I went to his concert here in Cheyenne.  To be honest I had no idea who he was.  My country music knowledge is very very very low.  It's not that I hate country music.  I just don't get it.  It does not speak to me.  But I went to former Mr. Zellweger's gig with an open mind and I was glad I went.  He puts on a great show.  I am not sure that I get country music any more than I did before I went...but I found myself with a hankerin' to go to Ole' Mexico and sit on a beach while boasting about how sexy my tractor is.****  Kenny C is a great artist...and like me can get away with never ever wearing sleeves.  *****


I have been busy with a few other writing projects that I will share you as I begin to finish up.  I can promise you that I will be around and haunting the Internet a bit more than I have been in the past few weeks,  I realize that the four readers****** of my blog need a little more J-Roe wisdom than I have been dishing out lately.  I promise to bring the bloggy more than what anyone will really wants over the next couple weeks. 

Until then I will continue my quest to find out where my 5'2 soul fits into this 5'8 world.



*  - Please note that if you are ever attacked or visited by a Ghost I am the last person you should ever call.  I get scared by Burger King Commercials. ******* 

** - While I am not sure of what kind of mixers they have in paradise I can assure you that I won't be any better at it there than I am down here.  I make the absolute worst first impressions.  You know who makes a better first impression than me?  The Swine Flu. 

*** - My thighs are "tender".  So deal with it haters.  They are pasty white and fair to partly flabby...but boy oh boy they are as tender as the first kiss between Kevin Arnold and Winny Cooper.

**** -  I type this with no offense intended to fans of Mr. Chesney...but....A TRACTOR IS NOT SEXY!!!  Anyone who tells you is either lying or has some sort of unnatural attraction to Earth Moving devices.  Watch the movie "Maximum Overdrive" and then come back to me and tell me that a Tractor is sexy.  It isn't.  Tractors are dangerous.  Don't hit on them.  They will run you over.  Kenny is setting people up for a violent end here.  Shame on him.  Now if he would have said that "My BBQ Grill is Sexy" well...then we could have had a picnic on the grassy lawn of Agreement Valley.

***** - Please refer to *** and replace the word "thighs" with "arms" and we are all good here. 

******  - Me, my wife, my dog, and me. (again)

******* - The Burger King is a scary demon who makes me want to never eat meat again.  He scares me to the point of optional bodily fluid control.  Where is my wet suit....?