A while ago I was about to speak to some teachers to give them a perspective of a parent who is raising a child with a special need.  I often don't have trouble coming up with things to say when I am in front of people.  While coming up with the talk I began to take notes about how I wanted my time to go.  Here was what my outline looked like before I hit a snag at 3C:



1. Someone introduces me. 
   a) The song "Pour some sugar on me" is played as I come out.
   b)  Dry ice is released.  
   c) Long pause as we let dry ice disperse and fire marshal interviews the victims of my light show.

2. My opening remarks
    a) Usually a story/example about how despite my ripped ab's I need to be taken seriously as a speaker.
    b) If I can tell that nobody is listening to me, I will then show off my ab's to audience to prove the point.
    c) Long delay as we allow the EMT's tend to the folks in the front row who were on the front line of my peep show.
    d) Make a deal with the audience that if they at least act like they are listening I will promise not to disrobe.  
    e) *BE CERTAIN THAT FINGERS ARE CROSSED BEHIND BACK WHILE DOING THE ABOVE

3.  Then I tell them what I am going to tell them.
    a) Regardless of topic I will begin by detailing what my last seven meals have been. 
    b) Then I read an inspirational quote from The Movie "Billy Madison".
    c)  After people wipe their eyes from the deep emotion that is flowing in the room I will then start with my main point......which is what? 

Yep, I made it about as far as 3C before I realized that I was unsure what exactly I was going to say to a room full of educators. 

Then I asked myself what I would want to hear about if I were them.  I guess I would just want to know a little more about the parent who is on the other side of the IEP meeting.  If I were a teacher I would want to know what I know about parents of special needs children. Here is what I know:

Parents of special needs children are no different than any other parent.

Deep huh?  While I am not trying to be as shallow as the depth of writing talent that exists on SNL these days I think that this simple message is the best one for people to hear.  Before I became a papa of a little boy who lived in the autism spectrum I had a preconceived notion of what parents of special needs children were like.  I thought that they must all be strong people, who took no crap, and carried a chip the size of a comet on their shoulder.  I figured that these parents would have to possess these personality traits to be able to survive the daily battle with the world as they advocate for their child.  Well...eventually I found out that my type casting of these folks was pretty wrong.  I found that out when I became one of these folks...and I frankly have none of those characterstics.

Through our families travels I have met plenty of parents who are raising children with various forms of disabilities.  They are no different than the ones who are raising "typical" youngsters.  These parents carry with them the hopes for their special little ones.  They ache when their child is hurt.  They cry when their child does something amazing.  They have just as much pride as any other parent does for their child.  Parents of special needs children come in many different forms.  There are the ones who are Type A personalities, and there are those who are Type B.  There are also some parents like me who are Type W.  (the W stands for either Weird or aWesome)

I ended up telling these educators that as they should never give up on the special child they go to bat for daily, they should never give up on their parents either.  My wife and I have been extremely fortunate to work with a team of people who serve my son with such humility.  We could not be more happy with the people who help guide our little guy through the autism maze.  I know that our situation is not always the same as other people who struggle sometimes to get the services their child needs.  I also realize that many times the parents and the teachers have serious conflict issues with one another.  That makes me very sad. I have found that sometimes ego (whether it is coming from the educator, parent, or both) can get in the way in doing what is needed.  As a parent of autistic child I have to realize that I am sometimes too close to the situation to know what is objectively best for my guy.  I would also argue that sometimes teachers have to realize that sometimes their need for "doing things by the book" can lead to missed opportunities to reach a special child. 

As a son of a school teacher I have a great deal of respect for what they do on a daily basis.  The vocation to be a teacher is one that needs to be exalted more than it is.  Are there some bad teachers out there? Yes, of course there are.  I just have not met one yet. 

After I figured out what 3C was going to be I went on and finished my outline.

4.  My interpretive dance of the birthing Moose.
a)  Start the dance.
b) Wake up from pepper spray.
c) Thank everyone for coming.
d) Plug blog.
e) Respectfully ask that they refrain from pressing charges.
f) Exit to music from Rent.


I wonder if they will ask me back?  I am sure they will....I mean why wouldn't they?  Unless of course they don't like the music of Def Leppard.