Every day it seems we are asked to define ourselves so that other people can have an idea who we are.

This is all fine and good...as long as we know who we are.

My journey of self discovery is taking a little longer than I and my high school guidance counsloer both thought it would.  It seems like I a different person every day.  When I wake up each morning I have new interests, perspectives, and long term goals.  These are things that I can become very passionate about...the problem is that when I retire in the eve I go to bed with the knowledge that the things that I care for today will be different tomorrow. 

I am always in a constant state of flux.  So this makes it hard to know exactly who I am at any given moment.  What I will try to do is give a moment to myself to pause my life and take an examination at who John Roedel is on May 19th, 2008 at 1:28 p.m. MST

Here goes:

I like coke.  Much more than Pepsi.  Pepsi tastes like the stuff that is leaking out of my old fridge in my garage.  Pepsi is like the water of a pond that is home to 500 ducks.

Right now I am in a musical phase in my life where I am trying to discover artists I have never heard of before.  Recently I have been digging:

The New Frontiers
The National
Newton Faulkner
Low Vs. Diamond

I watch too much television.

I am starting my 200th new diet since the begining of the new year.  This one is going to work out because I have been on it five hours now and I haven't cheated.  Much.

I think Ryan Seacrest gets a little too much flak.

I do not have a crush on Ryan Seacrest.

I am starting to like Facebook much more than Myspace.  Sorry Myspace...a little too much spam for me.

For the past two weeks I have been having crazy lucid dreams.  Some pretty cool.  Some scarier than me in a thong.  Every night I have been going to bed a little apprehensive of what is awaiting me under my eyelids.  I am begining to think that these dreams are being induced by my growing interest in daily meditation.

I am worried that autism will rob my eight year old of deep friendships.  You know, the kind of friendships that allow you to just sit and laugh with a buddy for two consecutive hours.

My hair is growing out.  I have decided to complete the look of a man with no real job. 

No, Ryan Seacrest is never a major focus of my lucid dreaming.    Much.

I pulled a muscle yesterday playing the Wii against my children. 

I am not good at returning phone calls. 

I am good at returning text messages however.

I believe that the best movie of the summer will be the new M. Night movie "The Happening".  I believe that because he is due for a hit. 

There is a large part of my being that is outraged over the news stories that get higher billing over the thousands who died in Asia over the past couple weeks.  Yes, I know we all care that Britney Speats had a fender bender...but really come on!

I think I have been putting the calls from Jesus on hold lately.  Sorry Jesus.  I will do better. 

I feel like I have to again defend my obession with Ryan Seacrest.  I will leave it at this...the man is the next Larry King.  You better get used to him and his waxed brow.

Now that you mention it...I may try and wax my own brow.

I am a supertaster.

My wife and I just celebrated our ten year anny by going away for a weekend.  This is the first time since dirt was young that we have gone anywhere without kiddos.  It was awesome.  It was a great chance for her to see how lucky she is to be married to me.  um...right

I am terrified that I am 34.

I need to be more patient with people.  Unless those people are the guys who keep showing up at my house trying to get me to subscribe to magazines.  I have lost all patience for you chumps....and next time when I say "No thank you" (for the SIXTH TIME) please do not take that as a chance to put your foot door and ask me why "I suck".  Look, I will agree with you that I suck...but buying that "Ammo Today" magazine is not going to make me suck less.

I miss winter.

I took my son to his horse back riding therapy a couple days ago and I reaffirmed my fear of nature.  Plus...nature needs to be house broken.

For me the television show LOST remains the finest program ever to be on the tube.

I cannot brush my teeth any more without covering my clothes, the mirror, the counter top, my children, my hair, or my carpet with toothpaste foam. 

I am excited that Ozymandian Theater get's to come back after a year on the shelf.

I am less excited that the hornets have moved into my backyard after being gone for a year.

I am delighted and concerned that my five year old son is acting more and more like me every day. 

There are parts of my life that I wish I could watch from a hidden camera.  Um..like yesterday when at a child birthday party where I attempted to fly a kite.  How can I not know how to do that?   I eventually ended up getting warpped in the string and I fell down into a ditch.  My family was proud...at least I think they were...they were um...crying.

There are people in my online class I am taking that think that I am an agent for the FBI.  Of course this is my fault, as I might have told them that.  But...wow....who believes me when I say stuff like that anyway?

If you think about Ryan Secreast owns the media.  American Idol, a five hour radio show, a program on E! that he hosts, and he is producing several reality shows. 

I went to the YMCA to work out today.  I made it as far as the Parking Lot.

I love to BBQ.  I am still learning though....

I have been working on this list for twenty minutes now and I have not really gotten a better sense of who I am.  I better make my responses a little deeper...

Carmel is the one dessert item I cannot live without.

I have not worn socks for seven days now.  This could be a Roedel record.

I have become more grateful for the blessings in my life.  No kidding I try to start each morning with a moment of gratitude where I list all the things in my life that I am fortunate to have.  This helps me keep things in perspective as my day begins.

My ability to read people's body language is eroding. 

I feel as if I should call Ryan Secreast to see if he is hiring interns.

There are people in my life who I have just let slip away. 

"Flamdango" is my new catch word.  I am not sure exactly how I will use it in a sentence yet...

My newest thing is that I measure distances in whistles.  If I were to give you directions to the rest room I would say " Ok..so go six whistles that way.  Turn left and then go three whistes.  Turn left again and in one or two whistles you'll be there.  This is a much better Roedel unit of measurement than my last one.  For quite some till I measured the distance between places by Buffalo's.  For example if you wanted to walk from my house to the park than you would just go about 1400 buffalo to the north.  It is things like this that probably cause me from having more friends...

I have not tied a pair of shoelaces in twelve years.

The best thing I have eaten recently was Crab stuffed Lobster...it was totally FLAMDANGO!

See..that kind of works.

Kenny Rogers freaks me out.  I don't know why.  But he does. 

I am eventually moving my blog from to www.blog.johnbigjohn.com full time in the next few weeks.

If Kenny Rogers and Ryan Seacrest were to fight I know that Rogers would most likely win.  That is not a compliment to Kenny though.  I believe that Ryan would only lose because he is a turn the other cheek kind of guy.  Plus...Kenny has that look of a man who learned how to fight in prison look in his eyes.

I think I am the only person in the world how pays heed to the "Express Lane: Ten items or fewer" signs at the grocery store.

I am not sure I like that my body is made mostly of water.  I want to be made of mostly carmel. 

I used to be a wresler.  I was pretty good at it.  In fact the first college I went to I choose because I wanted to wrestle there.  I lasted about one week and realized that I am averse to intense pain and large smelly coaches screaming at me in a foriegn language.

One thing I want to learn before I die is how to skip rocks. 

One thing I never want to learn is to how to skip lunch.

Speaking of which...I am hungry.  So exactly thirty five minutes later I am done with my personal inventory.


I will take a moment and review....and I will not spell check!


Wow.

ok...some I am without hope....but at least I was able to recommit myself to carmel.

Have a Flamdango day!

seacrest out!