I am awkward.

Over the past few weeks I have recieved emails that have been really humbling.  Many of them have from parents of autistic children who have just recently started reading my postings on my experiences with autism.  These emails were laced with esteem boosting sentiments...

I am really grateful to have gotten these warm words from strangers. 

I have not really responded to most of these emails because, like the first line of these entry indicates I am awkward. 

When talking with strangers I tend to say, write, emote, or think the wrong thing.  Just last week I was speaking to an published fiction author who was giving me really a really nice compliment.  Here is how that interaction went:

Writer:  Hey, I really loved reading that story of yours that got picked up by that site.

John: Oh, gosh.  Thank you.  That is really nice of you.

Writer:  I really-

John:  Thank you.  You really don't have to be so nice. 

Writer: Yeah. Ok.  I just thought-

John:  Writing it was crazy....

Writer:  Um?  What do you mean?

John:  I don't know what I mean by that.

Writer:  Have you thought about writing your own book?

John:  Oh....

(forty second pause as I know I should say something very impressive here) 

John: I would have to have a work ethic for that..(ha ha?)

Writer: Yes.  You need a work ethic to write a book.  (she did not get my ha ha)

John:  mmmmm.

Writer:  Nice meeting you.

John:  Yes.  This was really nice.  Thank you for saying that this was nice.





Yikes.  Had I said the right things, or just said thank you to her flatterings I probably would have really benefited from her knowledge.  Instead....something far more painful happened.

So folks who I have not written back that is why I have gone dark on the email front.  I cannot take a compliment without turning into a scene.  This is probably an issue some serious medications would help take care of.

Ok...here is my attempt at thanking those of you who emailed me over the past few weeks:

Thank you for the warm words...and for the encouragement.  I hope that anything I have said has helped you in even the slightest of ways.  Remember that as this autism awareness month is ending do not let the fire for this issue fade with the news coverage.  Advocate for you child, take care of yourself (vist HERE for that), and spend some time in your life searching for the joy that surrounds you.

Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.