There are a ton of things that would be great about being a famous celebrity.  For starters one of the perks I would like would me my own line of scents for people to purchase at criminal prices.  I already have a great name for my cologne: 

ROEDEL STANK -The scent for the man who is not concerened with his looks.

My ad campagin would be me walking around the house unshaven, unshowerd and with a half shirt.  At the end you would hear a voice from a woman say " Roedel Stank.  For when you just don't care what anybody thinks about your desperatly mis-shapen body"

The smell would be on of Hot N' Spicy pork skins, Head and Shoulder's shampoo, and Shasta cola.

Ok...I am going to stop there.  Sometimes I get off on bloggy tangents where I hijack the little thing I wanted to talk about and go a weird other direction...like in this case.  As much as I could go into much more painful detail for all three of you who have continued to read on after I gave you the imagery of me in a half shirt, I am going to go back to my origional thought for this blog:

There would be many great perks available to me as a celeb.  It would be a great life, filled with parties, limos, attendants, album cover shoots, awkward interviews with Regis, etc.  One thing I would not like however would be the award shows.

Inevitably in every award show they do the in memorium portion.  This is where they go and give every actor/musician (depending on what show you are watching) who has passed away during the course of the year a brief moment on screen for us to reflect on their lives.  For the average hat rack like myself I love this part.  It is always amazing to be reminded of the the incredibly talented artists who have died.  I always forget that some of them have died, and when their image shows up on screen I am quickly reminded.  It is a sad and sweet five minutes, that I think it is great tv.

If I were a celeb though, I would hate it like a Granny hates Whipper Snappers.  I would be freaked out by it.  I would sit there the entire time worried about the day when they are going to put my name and face up there.  It is a reminder of my mortality...and as a celeb I would not like that at all.  It make it clear to me that my sandglass is moving faster than I would like, and soon the last grain would pass through.

I would be bummed the rest of the night and when it came time for my acceptance speech I would recite some sort of depressing poem from Dylan Thomas.

I thought of this tonight while watching the SAG awards.  They did the remeberance bit, which ended with Heath Ledger.  You could just feel the mood in the room change, it was reality striking in the face of the world of make believe.  I feel really badly for Mr. Ledger.  I never would have thought of him as one of todays better actors...but now that he is gone I have reflected on his body of work.  He was fantastic, and by all accounts a good person.  Prayers and peace for his soul.

 

ROEDEL STANK - available in all 7-11's across the U.S.