Every once in a half moon I get asked in person, or through the email what are my thoughts are on a few of the controversial subjects within the Autism world.  I, by nature am a very non confrontational chap, so usually my answers are as bland as rice on yogurt.  More often than not when somebody brings up one of the touchy subjects (like vaccinations, or how Autism Speaks uses their donations) they are coming to the conversation with a position in mind…and they are making sure that I jive with them.  In these cases I just listen and take in their perspective.  My lips are stapled shut as per John Law during these encounters.   Not that I don't have opinions I just am pretty reserved when it comes to spilling the beans on what I think.  I keep myself very much up to date on the issues that directly impact our family.  I do article searches with autism keywords every Monday morn, I tape any show that has Autism as a subject, (sigh….even Geraldo Rivera on Fox was on my watch list last month), I a member of four different autism online forums, and I at least try to read the synopsis of any new book that comes out.  So it is not that I am an ignorant punk, it is just that I am:

-          ½ SHY. 

-          ½ Open minded to the fact that my own point of view might be wrong..so who am I to spout off?

Trust me when I tell you that some of these subjects that are debated in the autism world are extremely explosive.  Rightfully so, I suppose because they have such a personal impact on people.  It is not like arguing what movie Tom Hanks was the best in…these are arguments for example boil down to the best way to properly care for your child…or what causes autism in my child in the first place.  There is so much division on many of these subjects that I have seen it end relationships between people who subscribed to two different belief systems.  They are fire buttons to the heart of many of us…so it can frustrate people to no end when I come off without an opinion.  I got an email from a young woman a couple weeks ago who was semi-angry that I have not condemned in writing the medical community for misdiagnosing autistic children for the past twenty-five years.  She comes from the point of view of having her son screwed over by a doctor fifteen years ago and diagnosed as hearing impaired instead of autistic…which he nine years later was appropriately diagnosed with.  I absolutely understand where she is coming from, her pain and her frustration is truly justified.   As I explained to her through my reply to her that I am not the one to bang the gong of outrage.  Perhaps she should, maybe turn her anger into action.  In war I am the cute little kid playing the drums to inspire the minute men on the front lines.  I am not a fighter….

Well…not until last weekend.

Like I mentioned I search for articles every week so I can help my 19 IQ keep up with the autism news.  I found that MSNBC had a very interesting article detailing the heated debate about what was the cause of autism.  It presented evidence from the point of view that the reason that autism was sky rocketing was because it was being diagnosed more by the doctors.  It presented the position that autism was caused by mercury being present in many vaccinations that children received in the 90's and early 00's.  It also presented info on how certain preservatives and other yuckies put in our young children's food could have caused chemical damage in the brain.  They were all pretty well written points of view, and done so in a way that did not try to grind an axe.  They left it up to the reader, which I really enjoyed.  At the end of the article there was a forum for people to be able to express their own views.  I entered the forum knowing full well from past experience that this would be an emotionally charged conversation due to the topic.  What I saw at the beginning was what I expected. There were parents pouring out their hearts talking about how autism has changed them.  There were educators explaining their own experiences with what they think was causing the rise in autistic children.  I almost clicked away when I made it to the second page of the dialog to discover a new dark theme that was emerging….

My meek temperament was quickly inflamed as I began to read postings from people (who obviously did not know anyone with autism) that thought the main cause of autism was part medical "fad" and part that parents were not discipline their children enough.  Yes…in fact there were a few Mensa members that advocated that perhaps we could spank the autism right out of our children if we were better parents.  So right away I got code yellow angry…but soon I found myself smack dab in the middle of pure rage when I continued reading to find some people quoting the bible and talking about how children are sinning by "choosing" to be autistic. 

Don't believe me?  I wouldn't either…that is why I copied parts of the conversation:

> >This first selection was among the typical ignorant comment that floated about the conversation.  This one only got me to a 4 on the 1 to 10 anger meter.

 

 

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shawncvt >> Message 18 11/04/07 01:11 PM>>

I agree.  I think people use autism as an excuse for their child's behavior.  No one wants to admit that maybe their kid is just plain old different or maybe their child has a psychological disorder.  I have personally heard parents use autism as an excuse for bad behavior instead of trying to correct the behavior.  No one is doing these children any favors by labeling them as autistic whenever they misbehave.>>

>>

But it was comments like the next couple that shot me up to an 88:

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magherm >> Message 6 11/04/07 12:48 PM>>

I AM NOT A DOCTOR--BUT I BET THAT 99% IS JUST LACKING WHAT THE BIBLE TELLS PARENTS--SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD>>

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another late boomer >> Message 145 11/04/07 03:49 PM>>

magherm, i wouldn't be in the least bit surprised, but i would have to agree with you with your observation about what the Bible says about disciplining children.  I know when I was little, if I threw a temper tantrum, I got a good spanking for it, as it was NOT tolerated.  Unfortunately, since in this day and age, the state has made it illegal for children to be spanked when needed, no wonder we have a whole generation or two of kids and i might add ADULTS who get mad and throw tantrums when they don't get their way.  (I know, I work in a call center for a major bank and people get mad when I don't refund overdraft fees that they themselves caused)  >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

 

This is only a sampling of the stupid comments being thrown around so carelessly.  I was amazed to find that a vocal minority really believed that autism was caused by poor parenting.  The Clark Kent in me died and I un-naturally jumped into the fray.    My initial response was filled with such bitterness that I still do not recall typing it:

..>

 

 

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johnnywyoming >> Message 146 11/04/07 03:53 PM>>

Just an excuse for bad behavior?  Yes..just like cancer is just an excuse for dying.  >>  I will remind myself that the next time my non-verbal seven year old autistic son is screaming because he is so frustrated by his lack of ability to communicate with us that this is simply a behavior problem.  More time outs and groundings should put an end to his stimming, and texture problems.  Next time I catch his flapping his hands or lining up the spoons again I will make sure he goes outside and picks himself a proper "switch" to be whipped with.>>  Wow...I am praying that if you have children the apple fell far far far far far far far from the tree.  Other than that have a good day.>> >>

 

This then opened up an internet battle between me and a few of the uninformed.  The conversation that followed this was not constructive or enlightening for anybody.  I was outraged, and I wanted to defeat this way of thinking with every small cell in my body.  We went back and forth, and I am sure I said some things now that I really regret.    The war contained such rebuttals toward me like this:

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another late boomer >> Message 176 11/04/07 04:27 PM>>

Johnny, Sounds to me like you must be one of the "liberal" ministers that deny what is said in the Bible or just the parts that you do NOT agree with because they offend you.  What about the verse that says "Children OBEY your parents for this is right..."?  Are you saying that children should be allowed to do as they please, and then get labeled "autistic" because they never had to learn how to control themselves through being disciplined?  >>

>>

>>

 

 

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I could not believe people actually think this??!!!  I thought well maybe this is a teachable moment.  So I decided to bring some good energy back into my body and take a break.  When I came back I typed a near two page essay (that I won't bore you with here) that attempted to educate those who had no real idea what autism is like.  I used statistics, personal experience, and an invitation to exchange emails so we could further learn from one another.  I told them that autism was not a choice…it was a disease.  I explained as best as I could that autism was not just an excuse for bad behavior, or so that parents can stop parenting, it was something very heartbreaking for many of us.  I told them that I hoped that they would pattern their responses in such a manner that would not insult the rest of the people on here searching for answers for their child.  That instead they should respond out of compassion.  Here is a sample of the response my long plea for rationality got:

>>

 

 

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another late boomer >> Message 191 11/04/07 04:42 PM>>

I was born in 1962, and I can still remember things from when I was 2 or 3 years old and getting spanked for being bad and/or throwing temper tantrums.  I never started talking until I was over 2 years old and it wasn't until I was nearly 4 years old that I was finally toilet trained.  I can still remember soiling my training pants and having to wash them out in the toilet at that age.  I also remember a time when I climbed up on the kitchen counter, opened the cupboard doors and proceeded to EMPTY every single container that had a lid on it, out onto the floor.  I even talked my 2 year-old sister into helping me.  My sister got a spanking, and so did I, but I got TWO spanking for it--one from my mom and then when my dad got home from work that day, I got another one.   Just a few years later in grade school, I did have a few things I did, such as picking my nose in class, or eating the Elmer's Paste out of the container (yes, Elmer's had paste back then as well as non-toxic glue made out of horse hooves) and other things that I eventually grew out of.  By today's standards I probably would have been labelled "autistic" and put in special education rather than being in the mainstream with the other kids.  However, I too, had decent grades in school, and my IQ was tested at 136, so I wasn't retarded or autistic.  >>

>>

Or this one:

 

 

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Mimi2Jaylan >> Message 204 11/04/07 04:54 PM>>

I truly believe autism, adhd, and a lot of the problem's with today's youth, that is on the rise,  is from the lack of discipline.  When I was a kid, there were very few of these problems, we were taught to respect our elders, be seen and not heard except at the appropriate times, and we got a good ole spanking if we got too out of hand.  The less people guide their children, the more unruly they get and the more prevelent these disorders become.  >>

 

Or how about this one:

 

 

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DJC50 >> Message 346 11/04/07 09:59 PM>>

Johhny, you are not too smart are you?>> my opinion is that this and so many of our social problems with children is the lack of parenting. No time with their children, no discipline for their children and if the doctors and drug companies can give their condition a new name or treat it with a new drug, take no responsibility for their lack of parenting.>>

>>

Here is the one that sent me screaming into a pillow:

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isaiah426 Message 351 11/04/07 10:12 PM>>

I'd have to say that the Bible has the answers, especially when it comes to the spiritual ramifications this country will see when we totally kick God out of our lives (believers and non-believers alike). Have we noticed the evident increase in all problems this nation goes through and receives the more we disregard God. We could see a difference in our lives when we allow God back in.>> -It is not so much as how we raise them, though they do need discipline like the Bible states just as much as regular children. >>  -This answer is this people, WAKE UP, repent and go back to the God of our forefathers. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. This is what can happen and worse if we do not heed the Word of God. The more we disregard this message, the worse it will become. After all the sins of man are passed down from generation to generation and things will not get better the harder WE try to fix them.  >> -TO JOHNNY IN WYOMING: I think the cause of autism is perhaps because your own faith in God has suffered..Pray more, and God will forgive you.  Autism is a curse from the Lord, and one that you incurred.>>

 

 

It became apparent to me that perhaps with this much lack of understanding out there that I need to open my mouth a little more often.  If there are people out there who truly believe that autism is a form of God's Wrath sent down to us sinners than I believe I need to help counter punch that claim.  I should be more willing to offer my own opinion on things, just to at the very least help balance out the insane ones that are floating out there.  Weeks have passed, and so had my anger.  But not my resolve, my excursion on the MSNBC chat board reminded me to be an advocate for my child…because if I leave it up to the nut jobs than he will have no hope.   I will speak out more, even if it leads to awkward conversations that my harmony seeking soul dislikes.  So when somebody asks me about the Patriot Act I can wonder aloud why they had to add an a amendment at the last hour stating that if vaccinations are ever found to be the cause of autism that NOBODY can sue Big Pharma.  Why is that in the Patriot Act??????  See…I can be controversial.

 I would like to add that me and God are on good terms thank you very much.  He brought me two Bronco Super Bowls, and I renewed my faith for another twenty years. J