My Autism Question answered
JUST GOT THIS IN THE MAIL TODAY...
Dear John,
Thank you for you're extremely long letters that you have been sending with such great regularity. I am sorry that I have had to take so much time in responding to you; I assure you that I have been quite busy! Your friendship does mean everything to me and I want you to know that I have been keeping my eye on you from a distance. So, seriously why aren't you working yet dude? That situation is getting a bit weird I have to admit. I mean I only took ONE day off working after I created the ENTIRE WORLD…and I even felt kind of guilty then. That was just me. I am sure you have a plan. Right? Um…right???? Also, please watch how much bacon you are eating. Don't take the Elvis express to meet me. Your diet is as terrible as a Lifetime Channel movie....
Anyways, I am writing you back to your many questions you have about your families struggle with autism. I will try and answer them all to your satisfaction. You may not like all of the answers…but I do hope you listen. I just ask that you listen to me more than you did your Drivers Ed teacher. (How someone gets a D- in that class is something that I will never understand…which is saying something because I AM THE LORD!) My answers will come in the order that you asked them.
1) No, of course none of this is your fault. Things like this are nobody's fault…despite what some horrid books written in the 80's might tell you. Autism is not a punishment, but a challenge that I know you and the millions of families that experience it can meet.
2) Why not you? You seem perfectly capable of handling this. I recognize that some days can be heartbreaking, tiring, and a test of patience but you need to quit asking the "why us?" question. You need to start asking the "how do we use our experience to change the world?" question. I am sure you have heard of the ever increasing number of children being diagnosed everyday, right? You are not alone…and there is always someone out there who has it worse than you.
3) I am not sure that this question you asked fits in with this subject, but I will answer it. Um, no I did not make you out of the same mold I made David Hasselhoff. Coiesendently, each of you have been the only two who completely broke their own molds. Take that as a compliment…if…ah…you want.
4) My answer is quite simply: QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!
5) Unfortunately people will never quite understand what you and your family are going through. That is just the way of it. Just like you don't quite understand what someone who has throat cancer is going through. It is the whole "walk a mile in someone's moccasins" thing. That does not suggest that people don't care, it just means they might be not fully aware of what autism is. Which is fine, most of them have their own problems that take up most of their time. Unless it is Sting…he really has no problems to speak of. I think you should continually help educate people who seem confused about you're son's condition. Remember to be very patient with them.
6) Interesting question. I do not think it is good to sit around and hope for a cure. That very idea suggests that something is broken in your son, that he is lost to an illness. That is so very far from the truth! Yes, I admit that there is something different about the way he experiences life...but in some ways those differences make him a fantastic example for the rest of us. He does not judge people. He is the most loving person you have, or will ever meet. He is smarter then you…and someday he will be the one who helps you figure out how to program ring tones in your cell phone. Would you want to cure him or these things that make him wonderful? Of course not. Instead of wanting a cure…focus of finding different ways to connect with him. Play in his world. Don't sit back and watch him…jump in to his universe. Noah has more imagination in an eyelash than you do in your entire being. You're job is not to fix him…you job is to love him…and to help him grow as a human.
7) See answer 4.
8) The best advice I can give you on this is to always advocate for him. His teachers and school will do the best they possibly can for him, but you will be the best advocate he will ever have. Stand up for him. Defend him. No matter what.
9) It is easy to feel that way. Spend time more time in prayer. Spend more time bettering yourself. How can you expect to be a wonderful caregiver for your son, when you are not caring for yourself? Write more. Laugh more. And…eat less. Moderation should be your mantra.
10) Again, a little off topic but I will reply. I cannot give you any insider information on the Denver Bronco's. I will just say that even I could not help their run defense. Parting the red sea? Yes. Water to Wine? Sure.
11) Everything will be fine. Just think of how far you have come in the past year. Sure, some days have felt like baby steps, but some other days you have taken miraculous leaps forward. I tell you that things don't get easier...you will have some hard days ahead. You handle them really well I can tell you. Mostly because of things you're wife does. Try not to give her reasons for justifiable homicide. There will be a day when you feel like your son is on the right path; my warning is not to be complacent. Noah and his two brothers are going to change the world…they just need you to help them a bit.
12) The best way to help other parents is to tell them you're story. Sometimes when we recognize that other people are suffering in the same swamp it makes it easier to handle. Parents of children living with autism need to know that they are not alone. If you do nothing else in life, do that. Before you ask, yes you can. If you need more clarification please see answer 4 again.
I know I did not answer all of your questions. Including the one on what I consider the perfect rub for ribs. (Hint: it involves much more cumin than your sissy taste buds could handle) Those answers you will need to find for yourself. I s'posse that if I had to give you a basic word of advice I would tell you to persevere. Don't quit fighting for your child. Don't quit playing with him. Don't quit trying to reconnect the bridge between you and him. Don't let people hurt him. Don't feel sorry for yourself, or look for people to blame. Keep moving forward.
Oh, and please quit calling Noah your autistic son. He is your son living with autism. Yes. There is a big difference.
I hate labels…especially on kids.
Also, if you need a letter of recommendation for work I am always available. I hear Wal-Mart is hiring.
Ha!
Peace out,
God.
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