
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
Once again our family finds itself nestled in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. We have begun our yearly visit to Adams Camp. AC is a week long therapy camp for children who are living with various disabilities. This year we happen to be at the week that is designed specifically for children who have been tagged with autism. It seems unbelievable that this is our sixth year here. It seems like only a couple years ago that we took to the leap to come here and give ourselves into the miracle of the week.
Yes, for us this sacred week of Adams Camp is a miracle. I don't like to toss that word around...but it is the only one that can give justice to what this place has meant to us. It is a miracle because it not only has helped forge a new path of hope for our little dude, but it has also drawn us closer as a family. With the cool mountain breeze seeping through the thick forest we are welcomed here the promise that if we just simply open our hearts to the experience that is to come, then we will be changed. Plus anything that can drag my behind to the wilderness every year without much complaint by me is by definition a miracle.
I am not a big fan of the outdoors. I like looking at it through windows....just not a big fan of being stalked by Dingo's, bloodsucking bugs, or Yeti who have a hankerin' for some screaming sissy pie. I wish I could convey to you how much the outdoors and me disagree with one another. Let me try to reach out to each of you in the best way you could understand....
For 80's TV Series Buff - I like the outdoors as much as B.A. Baracus likes flying
For Vampires - I like the outdoors as much as you like garlic.
For the tech geek - I like the outdoors as much as Vista likes being awesome and easy to use.
For fans of Garth Brooks - I like the outdoors as much as you like Chris Gaines.
For Mall cops - I like the outdoors as much as you like the Canadian Mounty hats that you are inexplicably forced to wear.
For people who want the Spice Girls to make another comeback - I like the outdoors as much as you like reality.
For Cyndi Lauper - I like the outdoors as much as you like hearing someone cover one of your songs for the 345,988 time.
For those people who like having dandruff - I like the outdoors as much as you like Head And Shoulders commercials.
For those who are trying to become more healthy - I like the outdoors as much as you like having the fact that you have to live in a word with a product called "Bacon Salt".
For those people on Facebook - I like the outdoors as much as you like taking a quiz that will determine what kind of farm animal you should be.
For those who every had to sit through the movie "Rhinestone Cowboy" - I like the outdoors as much as people enjoy the singing voice of Slyvester Stallone.
For the New Age people - I like the outdoors as much as you like it when you Chakra goes all 2012 and then you have to attract a secret that only Deepak Choprah can transcribe.
For Oprah Winfrey: See the above
For Republicans: I like the outdoors as much as Cheney would like a backrub from Keith Olberman
For Democrats : See the above
For people who dress up like ghosts and monster so that they can scare people away from some property that they want to own - I like the outdoors as much as you like Scooby Doo.
For the Iranian Government - I like the outdoors as much as you like You Tube, Twitter, Fairness, Equality for women and furry bunnies.
For ET - I like the outdoors as much as Elliot's teacher liked you getting him drunk in the middle of science class.
For people who live in Wyoming - I like the outdoors as much as you like being asked "Which State is Wyoming in?"
For Will Ferrell - I like the outdoors as much as you like your agent right about now.
For people who follow sports - I like the outdoors as much as people who play soccer like being told they should have played football instead.
For those who are night owls - I like the outdoors as much as you like warm milk.
For Jon and Kate - I like the outdoors as much as you like making sure your children grow up in a nice, calm, normal, and non-exploitive environment.
For the TLC network - I like the outdoors as much as you like sleeping well at night.
For people who want to become a little smarter every day - I like the outdoors as much as you like reading my blog.
So it seems that I kind of come to Adam's Camp with a diaper half filled of poopiness.
Every year I come to this cabins with the same old baggage, worries, and neurosis. Every year as I drive up I give into the temptation of wondering if this is all worth it. Every year I wonder if some rabid elk will break into my cabin and drag me into the woods. Every year I come here thinking that this year cannot measure up to the year before.
Every year I am proven wrong.
Tonight as I met the wonderful team of people whose hands I will commit my son to for the week I was reminded why we make this journey every year. We come here to witness the very best of people.
I get to witness the amazing men and women who serve disabled children and their families with incredible humility.
I get to witness other parents who face more adversity than I could ever imagine fight for their children with teary eyes and brave hearts.
I get to witness young children who have been forgotten remind us that the light in their heart shines just as bright (usually brighter) than mine.
This year I plan on losing myself into the week. I promise to let go of my baggage. To let my fear of the outdoors be replaced with the awe of God's handiwork. I promise to lose who I think I am...and to become the one person that my children need me to be....daddy.
This year I promise to appreciate each moment this week has to offer. To truly lose myself in each and every moment...each fleeting moment...to let worries pass by like a leaf in the river. For one week I will sedate the chattering monkey who lives in my skull. I will be open to the miracles, the people, and the moments that are coming my families way. Like any good retreat I am leaving my old life at the door...and I hope it is dry cleaned when I go to pick it up at weeks end.
I am typing this on a dark porch under a breathtaking starry sky above me. There are more twinkling lights flickering above me than I think I have ever seen before. Time to stop typing and spend a little time getting lost in the moment that God is providing for me right now.
Goodnight.
EDIT -
ps. After spending thirty minutes of quiet under mountain stars I was having a deeply spiritual experience. I Was connecting to the universe and the vastness of the mysterious space that surrounds us....then I heard the hungry cry/wail/scream/shriek of some sort of mutated animal that just awoke from it's 300 year slumber and is looking for a bite of something small and fatty. I will work on my love of nature more tomorrow......
A while ago I was about to speak to some teachers to give them a perspective of a parent who is raising a child with a special need. I often don't have trouble coming up with things to say when I am in front of people. While coming up with the talk I began to take notes about how I wanted my time to go. Here was what my outline looked like before I hit a snag at 3C:
1. Someone introduces me.
a) The song "Pour some sugar on me" is played as I come out.
b) Dry ice is released.
c) Long pause as we let dry ice disperse and fire marshal interviews the victims of my light show.
2. My opening remarks
a) Usually a story/example about how despite my ripped ab's I need to be taken seriously as a speaker.
b) If I can tell that nobody is listening to me, I will then show off my ab's to audience to prove the point.
c) Long delay as we allow the EMT's tend to the folks in the front row who were on the front line of my peep show.
d) Make a deal with the audience that if they at least act like they are listening I will promise not to disrobe.
e) *BE CERTAIN THAT FINGERS ARE CROSSED BEHIND BACK WHILE DOING THE ABOVE
3. Then I tell them what I am going to tell them.
a) Regardless of topic I will begin by detailing what my last seven meals have been.
b) Then I read an inspirational quote from The Movie "Billy Madison".
c) After people wipe their eyes from the deep emotion that is flowing in the room I will then start with my main point......which is what?
Yep, I made it about as far as 3C before I realized that I was unsure what exactly I was going to say to a room full of educators.
Then I asked myself what I would want to hear about if I were them. I guess I would just want to know a little more about the parent who is on the other side of the IEP meeting. If I were a teacher I would want to know what I know about parents of special needs children. Here is what I know:
Parents of special needs children are no different than any other parent.
Deep huh? While I am not trying to be as shallow as the depth of writing talent that exists on SNL these days I think that this simple message is the best one for people to hear. Before I became a papa of a little boy who lived in the autism spectrum I had a preconceived notion of what parents of special needs children were like. I thought that they must all be strong people, who took no crap, and carried a chip the size of a comet on their shoulder. I figured that these parents would have to possess these personality traits to be able to survive the daily battle with the world as they advocate for their child. Well...eventually I found out that my type casting of these folks was pretty wrong. I found that out when I became one of these folks...and I frankly have none of those characterstics.
Through our families travels I have met plenty of parents who are raising children with various forms of disabilities. They are no different than the ones who are raising "typical" youngsters. These parents carry with them the hopes for their special little ones. They ache when their child is hurt. They cry when their child does something amazing. They have just as much pride as any other parent does for their child. Parents of special needs children come in many different forms. There are the ones who are Type A personalities, and there are those who are Type B. There are also some parents like me who are Type W. (the W stands for either Weird or aWesome)
I ended up telling these educators that as they should never give up on the special child they go to bat for daily, they should never give up on their parents either. My wife and I have been extremely fortunate to work with a team of people who serve my son with such humility. We could not be more happy with the people who help guide our little guy through the autism maze. I know that our situation is not always the same as other people who struggle sometimes to get the services their child needs. I also realize that many times the parents and the teachers have serious conflict issues with one another. That makes me very sad. I have found that sometimes ego (whether it is coming from the educator, parent, or both) can get in the way in doing what is needed. As a parent of autistic child I have to realize that I am sometimes too close to the situation to know what is objectively best for my guy. I would also argue that sometimes teachers have to realize that sometimes their need for "doing things by the book" can lead to missed opportunities to reach a special child.
As a son of a school teacher I have a great deal of respect for what they do on a daily basis. The vocation to be a teacher is one that needs to be exalted more than it is. Are there some bad teachers out there? Yes, of course there are. I just have not met one yet.
After I figured out what 3C was going to be I went on and finished my outline.
4. My interpretive dance of the birthing Moose.
a) Start the dance.
b) Wake up from pepper spray.
c) Thank everyone for coming.
d) Plug blog.
e) Respectfully ask that they refrain from pressing charges.
f) Exit to music from Rent.
I wonder if they will ask me back? I am sure they will....I mean why wouldn't they? Unless of course they don't like the music of Def Leppard.